The Neverending Story

When I first heard that the Governor Mark Sanford of South Carolina was missing, I thought the media were making a big story out of nothing, as usual. The man's entitled to a vacation. It was just after the end of a tough legislative session. It's not as though politicians have a legal duty to let the media know where they are at all times.

Then when it turned out that his staff didn't know exactly where he was either . . . and neither did his wife . . . although people seemed to think he was hiking the Appalachian trail . . . by himself . . . even though he's got four kids . . . and it was Father's Day . . . I thought, OK, I guess this is a little weird after all. But still, I was willing to give the man the benefit of the doubt.

Then it turned out he wasn't hiking the Appalachian trail, he was in Buenos Aires. Hmmm, that is odd, I suppose, but really, why shouldn't he be in Buenos Aires? That's supposed to be a nice spot, isn't it? For a little R&R?

OK, then it all comes out: he's not in Buenos Aires for R&R. He's there to see his mistress! He's been having an affair for about a year.

Now it all makes sense. Of course! He's just the next notch in our list of politicians having affairs. I might have said conservative, Bible-quoting politicians who have criticized others for having affairs, but apparently Sanford isn't that much of a moralist, so I'm letting him off easy.

Look, I understand that there's probably some relationship between having the kind of drives necessary to win high political office and having a massive, uncontrolled libido, but really, guys, keep your pants zipped. The era when the press was a gentleman's club that would cover for you is over. You're going to get caught. And we've had enough of it. At least for this month!